Cat

Oh well, nine lives! I wonder how that came about....

Addiction

I have an addiction. It's very serious. Withdrawals are awful. It's not an illicit substance or anything. Just my watch.


Yeah, I'm totally addicted to my watch. No jokes here, just a serious addiction.


In one class, there's an extra credit assignment about giving up a certain useful technology for five days and writing a paper on it. So, not wanting to give this internet up for fear of losing you all (by all I mean, like, two of you) and not being able to talk to people on Facebook, and not wanting to give up my phone in case someone needs me, I thought, hey, I'll ditch the watch! Mother always says I obsess over it, so I'll prove her wrong!


So, the day I was going to start, my phone dies, and the charger is doing this weirdo thing where it decides not to work and my phone doesn't even realize it's got a centimeter of hardware in it's crack. Chucked phone and watch into a drawer, walk out of the room, and


I


FREAK


OUT


I don't know what time it is! I'm paralyzed with fear that sends a chill to my heart and I last maybe six seconds before I run back for my watch and decide to give up the phone since it's conveniently dead.


I never realized until now how truly dependent I am on knowing the time of day. Don't want to be late, want to be early, just the comfort of knowing a few numbers on my wristwatch's face. Right now it says 3:48 but I know her like the back of my hand (Get it? Get it?) and she's always two minutes fast, so it's really 3:46. I like that. I know my day now. Not having a clock around to tell time with freaks me out.

Life Expectancy

Lalalalalalala

I have nothing to say, nothing to write about. So instead of writing about how I have nothing to write about (because that's usually never funny), writing something wildly offensive in a desperate attempt to be funny, or writing about how I wish I could have a small rodent to put into a slingshot (because that... is actually... hm....)


I'm going to be writing about rodents and slingshots. I mean, wouldn't that be awesome? Take a rat, fling it around on its tail and smack it against something to dull its senses, then put it in a slingshot. Yank back and let 'er rip. Flying rodents. Like a bat, but without wings and bats aren't rodents. But they both squeak and shriek and that would be cool. Then they'd hit your little sister in the head and she'd scream and hit you and tell mommy.


Y'know, I always wanted a little sister. I thought that would be pretty cool. To have someone to stick up for and protect from douchebags, and sluts who want her to smoke and sleep with teachers to get better grades. But noooo, I got two mean older sisters and a younger brother who hates the world. Maybe I'll just castrate him and pretend I have a little sister.


Wasn't this about rats? Screw that, I'm going to bed.

Earth Day is stupid

I'm glad that, once a year, we decide to help out the world, while sodomizing it the other 364 days.


Hey, great idea here... how about you plant trees more often? Why is there only one day a year devoted to being environmentally friendly?


According to WikiAnswers, 144,000 trees are cut down EVERY DAY. That's 52,560,000 trees cut down every year. I couldn't find how many are planted on Earth Day, but I'm almost positive it's not 52,560,000.


So why can't Earth Day be every day? Why just one day to say, "Gee, I should probably go out and stick a crappy little shrub in the ground and fool myself into thinking I'm saving the world!"


So here's to you, Earth Day:

Suck on that, Nature.

Moral of the story: be nice every day. Don't pick one day of the year to show someone, or the Earth, that you care.

Uhm