Great idea.

It's always cool when you can take something crappy, spruce it up with something cool, and come up with something awesome. Insert vague racial joke HERE.


SO: my idea.


Cats are crappy. But you know what's cool? A mace.

All right, now let's be logical here... cat Jedi? Stupid. Cat defense spray? That's gross. Cat medieval weapon? YES.

See, it's perfect! Cat's got a tail for the mace handle already, so you're half there without freakin' doing anything. It's GREAT. Then, you just put some spikes on the cat, swing it around at your enemies... and hey, swing it around at your friends and family and gas station attendants, too!

But WAIT! Did I say put spikes ON the cat? Why don't you put them IN the cat? THAT way they won't come out as easily. 'Cause don't you hate it when you're in the "mood," the killing mood, and your Catmace's spikes are falling off? BUMMER!

And apart from being deadly, lethal, dangerous, and other synonyms, it's practical, easy to make, PRACTICAL, and scary as hell! People will think "HOLY FRICK THAT GUY IS SCREWED UP." No one will EVER mess with you. So it's great for your kids in school! Tired of that mean ol' bully?

CATMACE

I've got some pictures of what it'd look like... drawings, you know, but I can't show you or I'll get kicked off the internet and institutionalized.

Moral of the story:  ingenuity is just one crime against nature away! Get yours now!

Oh, and if you see any strays... I'll pay. Lots.