Hallway Etiquette

One of the many things that inordinately and consistently infuriates me is people who don't know how to walk. And I don't mean, like, people who can't walk, I'm not that big of a jerk. I mean people who, on the sidewalk or in the hallway, disobey the unspoken rules of hallway etiquette. Well, that's part of the problem: they're unspoken! So, after reading this, speak them, because this writing and not speaking.


RULE ONE
Stay on the right side. Right as in direction, not correct. Well, correct too. Right is right.

It's kind of like the road, except there's little to no chance of running someone over and splattering their blood all over the walls and other people walking. Walking on the left side is just like a big ol' "screw you" to everyone walking, because you're right in the way. It's annoying and it makes me wish the hallway were in fact a road.

RULE TWO

Don't take up the whole path. This goes particularly to groups of people who, instead of forming a mobile cluster, decide to fan out and make sure that no one is able to get past them. At least not without awkward bumping or outward violence.

I SWEAR I'LL DO IT

The thing I don't get about this one is that it's not like you can make conversation with someone on the other side of the hallway with a bunch of people between you. Falling in line will just prevent problems (refer to above picture).

RULE THREE

No loitering! This can be one person awkwardly standing in the way, two people talking, in the way, or a group of people standing around for no reason whatsoever.

Then it ends up looking like this. Good luck!

So like, pretty please, if you have someone you're talking to, that's wonderful, but kindly get out of the way. Otherwise, it's just rude.

RULE FOUR

Don't. Walk. So. Slow. Seriously, just pick up the pace a little, especially if it's crowded. I mean, walking slow is all right if the place is empty, no problem with that, people can move around you easily. But when there are a lot of people, and you're taking your sweet time, it makes it hard to get around you. Then people get stuck behind you, and it's really long, boring, and pointless.

Picture unrelated.

So pick it up a little so you're not clogging the hall like an artery. Or else, HALLWAY STROKE. Bam you're dead. Look what you did. Are you proud?

RULE FIVE

Don't be a jerk. Be considerate That pretty much sums it up. Just realize that other people are trying to move, and you suck.

Moral of the story: seriously, you suck.