First off, the greatest invention since the sliced wheel. Or the bread, I... whatever. But it's a window scraper mitten! It's a mitten with a scraper at the end so you can keep your hands toasty warm while you scrape all the ice and snow off your windows! Don't be an idiot and buy a scraper AND a pair of glove, buy this!
I wanted to buy two of them and pretend to be a lobster monster but Mom wouldn't let me.
Kids toys are just so, so wrong. First of all, it's next to the ladypart shavers, or whatever those do. But anyways, to the product, there's a frog and a duck that don't squeak, which sucks, and don't do anything, which also sucks. They're called "Flashy Friends." probably left off the "with benefits" for censoring. But you can bet they're not lifting their tops for plastic beads. These whores are the real deal. Just look at the subtitle, for crap's sake. "Make bathtime fun"? What the eff. Showing your boobs would probably make bathtime way better, but you don't need to tell kids that with their ducks and frogs. Sick, man. Sick.
Woah. Just... woah. "Tweezers Ideal for easily handling critters"?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY DO YOU GIVE CHILDREN A MAGNIFYING GLASS AND TWEEZERS? You know they'll be burning anthills and smashing ladybugs, you sicko. You sicken me. You don't "easily [handle] critters" with a freakin' huge set of plastic tweezers. Gaw. That's... that's wrong, man. Real wrong.
1. Why did they give me a ticket to get bagged?
2. Why would they ask me how it was?
3. Why do they really want to know?
4. What is wrong with the world?
(side note, the order was 66, so up at the top was a capitalized "ORDER 66" and I chuckled)
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