GET IT?
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
The Thinker
Classic art at its finest.
(I actually don't remember drawing this, but I'm sure that has something to do with the fact that it's been in my comics folder for a few months... yikes)
(I actually don't remember drawing this, but I'm sure that has something to do with the fact that it's been in my comics folder for a few months... yikes)
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
This is real. I wish it weren't but it is.
Do You Have Dirty Balls?
The Axe Detailer & Shower Gel Clean Your Balls. See the Demonstration.
Dearest reader, I am not making this up. I couldn't. I don't know where to start. The title? The fact that they insinuate that some men have balls that are clean? (let's face it, clean balls aren't common) The fact that they want you to HOLY HELL THEY WANT YOU TO SEE A DEMONSTRATION.
Yes. I want to see a man clean his nuts with shower gel. Sheesh. Well hey, at least there's a solution to your problem. Just... just be careful okay? I don't trust that.
The Axe Detailer & Shower Gel Clean Your Balls. See the Demonstration.
Dearest reader, I am not making this up. I couldn't. I don't know where to start. The title? The fact that they insinuate that some men have balls that are clean? (let's face it, clean balls aren't common) The fact that they want you to HOLY HELL THEY WANT YOU TO SEE A DEMONSTRATION.
Yes. I want to see a man clean his nuts with shower gel. Sheesh. Well hey, at least there's a solution to your problem. Just... just be careful okay? I don't trust that.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
How Unfortunate: PART IV
All right, this was supposed to be done, like, a really long time ago (this was on page three of the list of my posts, as a draft, that, for some reason, I decided not to finish). The DC stopped serving fortune cookies, so this will likely be the last, which is sad, but kind of good because maybe... no.
Well, enjoy this final post of fortune cookies. Maybe you'll learn something. Maybe you'll lose faith in mankind. Maybe I just don't even care.
Be ready to receive the good things that come your way.
Yeah, because good things need preparation, not a pleasant surprise or anything.
"Hey, I got you roses, my love!"
"GET AWAY, I WASN'T READY FOR THIS!"
Great thoughts come from the heart.
No, great thoughts come from the head. You know those girls who go out with the same douchebag multiple times? That comes from the heart and it's a terrible idea. Plus, the only idea your heart gives you is: beat, beat, beat, beat, beat.
VIOLENCE.
It's harder to ask the right questions than to find answers to the wrong questions.
Wait, what? No it's not. Now you're just making stuff up. You can't do that, fortune cookies. You can't do that.
With care, things will never change.
Yeah, because freak accidents never happen! And, y'know, LIFE.
Visions of a happy romance are in your near future.
Okay, this was several months ago. Still single. Thanks. Thanks, you lying son of a
Beautiful things awaits you.
Close, but no cicada. Whoever edits or translates these things isn't doing their job. Maybe that's why all of these fortunes have been stupid! They're really brilliant, wise proverbs mistranslated to sound like a six-year-old blew a hemorrhoid on a strip of paper!
Moral of the story: this story has a moral.
Have a fortunate life, but only if you build me a statue for my prophiteering. That might be a pun, I don't know, but I'm pretty sure that's not actually a word.
Well, enjoy this final post of fortune cookies. Maybe you'll learn something. Maybe you'll lose faith in mankind. Maybe I just don't even care.
Be ready to receive the good things that come your way.
Yeah, because good things need preparation, not a pleasant surprise or anything.
"Hey, I got you roses, my love!"
"GET AWAY, I WASN'T READY FOR THIS!"
Great thoughts come from the heart.
No, great thoughts come from the head. You know those girls who go out with the same douchebag multiple times? That comes from the heart and it's a terrible idea. Plus, the only idea your heart gives you is: beat, beat, beat, beat, beat.
VIOLENCE.
It's harder to ask the right questions than to find answers to the wrong questions.
Wait, what? No it's not. Now you're just making stuff up. You can't do that, fortune cookies. You can't do that.
With care, things will never change.
Yeah, because freak accidents never happen! And, y'know, LIFE.
Visions of a happy romance are in your near future.
Okay, this was several months ago. Still single. Thanks. Thanks, you lying son of a
Beautiful things awaits you.
Close, but no cicada. Whoever edits or translates these things isn't doing their job. Maybe that's why all of these fortunes have been stupid! They're really brilliant, wise proverbs mistranslated to sound like a six-year-old blew a hemorrhoid on a strip of paper!
Moral of the story: this story has a moral.
Have a fortunate life, but only if you build me a statue for my prophiteering. That might be a pun, I don't know, but I'm pretty sure that's not actually a word.
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