Thursday, June 24, 2010

Hello.

Hi. I'm Matt. Some people call me "sexy." Those people are guys on the internet who can't see me and think I'm a girl. Screw them. They're stupid. And I don't mean "screw them" in a sexual sense. No one wants some nasty pathetic loser who hits on people through nothing but words on a screen. Oh baby your pixelized font is soooo fine.
Actually people do go for that sort of thing. Then the girl always complains about it. Your fault, lady. I'd laugh, but it's too sad, in both meanings of the word.
And this is why I keep to myself! It's great fun, really. The only bad part is when I actually come in contact with people and am even more awkward than usual. Think about what three months in solitude will do. Ha. I bet I'll make lots of new friends.


Do you want to be my friend?


Pleeeease?


Moral of the story: if you spend ten minutes thinking of what you learned, you probably didn't learn anything substantial.

2 comments:

  1. so... you're lacking in the vagina department then... I can probably get past this small bump in the road(read: pants) ... and yes. that is a pun. bonus points for catching it before reading the sentence (fragment) prior to this.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Next time I see you, I'm slapping you.

    ReplyDelete