Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Sports are Dumb

I'm confused. Maybe someone can help me out here. I've never understood what's so exciting about watching a bunch of sweaty, overpaid, middle-aged guys exercise? People throw away dozens (or even hundreds or thousands, depending on how devoted they are) of dollars a year down the toilet for exclusive networks, cable packages, stadium tickets, fan gear (jerseys and those foam fingers, which are admittedly kinda cool), and food at the stadium. Entire arenas sell out and are packed full of eager fans craning over the fat guy in front of them to see what's going on, all yelling, screaming, and cheering.
And it's not just the excitement of leaving home and having a night out, which is somewhat understandable (I'm sure there're better things to do than to sit in a crowded stadium and watch people work out). People will sit down in front of a TV and yell, scream, and cheer. At a screen. A screen. Yelling at the top of their lungs about poor calls (which only happens if the team they're cheering for is harmed), swearing at players for a poor performance (I'd like to see you do better), and, this one's the best, just noise. Just the occasional, random "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!".
Someone next door (at least I hope it's next door; if it's farther away, that's just scary) has been bellowing incessantly for the past half hour. My door is shut, the walls are concrete, and I've got music on fairly loud and I can still hear every word he's saying. He's getting so mad, it's ridiculous. Or maybe it's excitement, not anger. Either way, it's way over the top.


Honestly.


Moral of the story: yelling at televisions and cheering for people who are engaging in mindless physical activity will only make you look like silly, especially if you're only shouting at pixelized renditions of them on a screen).

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