Ha. I need help.

Although I knew it before, it's becoming increasingly apparent that I'm messed up beyond belief and repair. Most of my tabs are bizarre animals, like the blobfish (yes, that's really real), and freakish, obscure mental and genetic disorders, like the Möbius syndrome.


There's also this wicked cool thing called turritopsis nutricula, which is essentially the only immortal living thing on Earth. Aw yeah.


So all these strange subjects are messing with my head. Could be dangerous. Maybe I'll get chicks that way. Girls like psychologically disturbed and socially inept guys, right? Right?!


But then I'll show them Shenkui. That's brilliantly fascinating, isn't it?


The government is going to force me to live alone forever without the internet so this kind of stuff never happens. So don't worry.


Moral of the story: curiosity sent the cat to the psych ward, where said cat got a lobotomy and a Native American who likes Juicy Fruit throws a water fountain through the window and... wait, no that's a movie. Well, you get the idea.