I figured it out!

I've been thinking a lot lately about a lot of things, and I finally figured something out. It sorta freaks me out, but at the same time, I knew it all along. Just the realization is shocking. But anyways, during my soul searching down the tubes of my brain, here's what I learned:


I'm a masochist!


LOL RIGHT?


No.
Serious, here.


I'm a masochist. Or, at least, an emotional one. I don't like burning, cutting, autoerotic asphyxiation, giving blood, walking in shoes without socks, headbutting walls, etc. etc. But at this moment, I'm upset and (get this) listening to Madonna.


Madonna?


Madonna?!


But I deliberately put myself into painful social and emotional situations, deny myself happiness and pleasure, and think incessantly about depressing things.
Why, just today, this annoyingly gorgeous girl gave a speech about tea (I don't like tea, but I find myself wanting to like it--weird, huh?) and I had the perfect opportunity to talk to her and congratulate and all that, but, being the charming fellow that I am, left the room immediately after seeing this opportunity, then waited an hour on a bench for someone who doesn't care about me.


I'm stupid. Furreal.


Maybe I should start headbutting walls. Would be far less painful.


Moral of the story: look at me. Do the opposite. You'll do great.